By Trailerman Sam
Jeremy Brown never had it better. Blimey, Mr Brown was the English language teacher played by Barry Evans in the popular sitcom, Mind Your Language, in the 70s.
Too bad it was stopped after four seasons as some people “at the top” found it to be offensive from the racial point of view.
I liked all the characters in the English language parody. Like Anna Schmidt, the humourless German lady, who looked as though she had just walked out from a World War II time capsule!
Or Giovanni Cupelo, the passionate Italian macho man or the sexy French woman in Danielle Favre or quarrelsome Ali Naim from Pakistan, who was always battling with Ranjeet Singh from India who made the plea of “A thousand apologies” highly popular.
And who can forget the strict head teacher, Miss (Dolores) Courtney, who was always at odds with Mr Brown and his charges? And there was Sid, the school’s caretaker, with his twisty Cockney slang.
I always had rip-roaring time watching those so-called immigrants struggling with the English language through Juan Cervantes (Spain), Ingrid Svenson (Sweden), Jamila Ranjha (Bangladesh), Taro Nagazumi (Japan), Maximillian Papandrious (Greece) and Zoltan Szabo (Hungary).
Special mention must be made of Lim Pek-sen, who played Chung Su-Lee, the straight-laced Chinese student who was always quoting from Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book. Pek-Sen actually comes from a well-to-do family in Penang and has lived in Britain for many years since the 1960s. She has appeared in movies like Johnny English Reborn and Maleficent:Mistress of Evil.
Mind Your Language exposed us to the various nuances of the English language. I dare say English is still the most popular language against some 6,500 languages in this big blue marble of ours called Planet Earth. And Papua New Guinea alone has 500 dialects!
We can discern the English language’s dominance in the arts, trade, technology and even diplomacy. It’s almost universal!
English is one of the ways in which we communicate our thoughts or even represent our cognitive processes. So, for me, it’s sleep, eat and speak English!
Teaching English was never a piece of cake, especially to students who already had six years of their mother tongue as their medium of instruction, and some in having Indian actor Vijay as their hero after seeing him in Master (2021), Beast (2022) and Varisu (2022).
Many a time I went bananas when students from one tuition batch mixed up their tenses besides their “cakar ayam” handiwork or handwriting in their exercise books. But I’m thrilled that batch got through their SPM and in the three main subjects that I teach: BM, History and English.
I’d often encourage them to speak English in class and elsewhere. Most times, initially, this would be akin to pouring water onto the pavement because of their reluctance to do so.
Their common reply would be: my friends are shunning us whenever we try to speak in English!
And that again, is a big Malaysian problem – putting people down just because they speak English. But then again, these spoilsports are sometimes bigtime fans of the ENGLISH Premier League and would roll off names like Arsenal, Southampton or Newcastle as if they are part of the local football scene!
Sometimes a put down remark in Tamil would go like this: “Hello, you’re eating sambar (South Indian stew made from lentils and mixed vegetables), so stick to your mother tongue.” In other words, they’re saying that if you can’t speak English properly, revert to your mother tongue.
I told my students to come up with this retort: “Hey, you’re eating sambar too but why are you in jeans and t-shirt instead of a vesti or dhoti?” (loin cloth or sarong).
That sarcasm reminded me of my high school days when a police sergeant asked me whether I was from England when I uttered something quickly in English.
My newest student, Kisha, 12, appears to be born with an English tongue. She speaks with an accent from the shores of a far-away land. I see a gem in Kisha. With proper guidance, she could perhaps make a good lawyer one day.
Her manner of speaking reminded me of my teenage days when I was working at a pub for I was conscious of the way I spoke to make myself clear to the lads from the Royal Australian Air Force base in Butterworth.
As a silver-haired Malaysian now, I feel I’ve a little bit of an advantage over others. Why? I believe my frequent intake of bak kut teh, nasi lemak and sambar had helped to polish my command of Hokkien, Malay and Tamil. I could have made it in Tagalog (Filipino) too but their Mahal Kita meant “I love you” while in Malay, it’s something else altogether. That’s why we need English if all else fails!
Trailerman Sam is a popular tuition teacher in Penang. If he is not teaching, he is writing, drinking plenty of coffee and probably star or planet gazing. He can be reached at trailer17@hotmail.com
The views expressed here are that of the writer’s and not necessarily that of Weekly Echo’s.