Picture Illustration by Copilot
By Betsy May Veloo (Musing about ageing gracefully without receiving annoying reminders)
Is it just me, or is there anyone out there who feels the same way as I do…who hates receiving texts about growing older, and getting numerous pieces of advice, through social media, about what to eat and what not to eat, what exercises to do or which ones to avoid, and so forth?
I mean, for goodness sake, I already have one foot in the grave…I know about the risks of getting “OLDER”.
Don’t we already know what to expect when we grow older…?
The slow walk around the shopping mall should already be a blatant reminder…when once the mantra was “Shop, shop, till you drop,” it’s now “OMG, we’ve been here for two hours already. Time to go home before the lunchtime crowd gets here!”
I remember, decades ago at Sungei Wang Plaza…my one-time favourite place in Kuala Lumpur…I would zip into nearly every clothing and accessories shop there, like a busy bee, until closing time at 10 pm. Sadly, not any more.
Gone are the days when I could elbow crowds to get into the bus or scramble up the emergency steps at the back of the bus with high heels. Survived all that. Now, no more buses and trains – it’s e-hailing cab services all the way, everywhere, in flat-heeled shoes.
These days, even short-distance drives culminate in pit stops at every rest and recreation place.
I am now taking three to five minutes to get out of a car, all the time groaning with aches and pains. I am also napping halfway through a favourite TV programme, and sleeping halfway through a short novel. At 9 pm, I am already eyeing the bed. Aren’t these sure-fire signs of ageing?
Reminders, reminders, and reminders…
A few months before my retirement, I received a book from my employer about what to expect when one retires. It outlined how difficult it would be not to work after all those years of slogging.
It warned of depression setting in soon after the honeymoon period of not having to get up early for work ends. It then encouraged taking up hobbies, keeping busy and continuing socialising.
The fairly thick book made for good reading, but depression started creeping in months even before I bade a final farewell to my colleagues.
It’s reminding me of a grand send-off message: “Hey, you are getting OLDER.”
I know I am getting old, my dear employer, because I did the unthinkable – I reached my retirement age!
When I go out these days, strangers who used to refer to me as Miss now call me Puan or Aunty. My sisters’ great-grandchildren are calling me “tai yi po” (great-grand aunt).
So now, when I wake up to the sounds of creaking bones, I really don’t need to read all those uplifting Good Morning greetings, reminding me that I am getting OLD. I really don’t need to be told that I am not “that young” anymore, that I must take things easy, eat the “correct” foods, look down when I walk, be wary of wet floors or when ascending or descending the stairs…
Haven’t we seen our parents, older siblings, aunties, uncles, and neighbours ageing before our very eyes?
ENOUGH already, please
I have already begun hinting to my friends and acquaintances to stop blasting me with “you are getting old” reminders! That didn’t go well with one. She quickly responded, saying I am in denial and that I should accept that I am growing old.
“You are growing older, you know,” she texted. “WE need to accept it and grow old gracefully”, and ended her sentence with lots of exclamation marks.
Nope, I had texted back: “You are not getting my point. I know I am ageing, I have been accepting that fact for a long time now, and I am not in denial.” And then, I ended my sentence with an equally copious number of exclamation marks. (She no longer is on my Christmas list, by the way!)
I mean, look around you. There are already so many living examples of “growing OLDER”. For instance, every time I am at my favourite coffee place…I can see the differences among the young, the old and the older.
Like how they look, how they move, how they eat, how they speak, how they behave, and by just looking at them, I know where my age category fits into…and what I can expect in the very near future. It is indeed a classroom of life experiences in different stages.
So, can you really blame me for getting annoyed when I receive greetings every morning with images or videos of old men and women (and worse, now with AI-generated ones) spewing quotes and advice about growing old? Please, don’t keep reminding me. I already know…
Am I the only one who feels this way?
WE