by Dr Rahim Said
A recent report on a marriage that would easily break the record for the shortest-lived union, surpassing even that of Britney Spears to Jason Alexander leads us to philosophise on matrimony and ponder what advice we should offer new couples planning to tie the knot.https://www.news9live.com/viral-news/shortest-marriage-3-minutes-kuwait-couple-divorce-2292649
But before that, let’s dwell on that case for a moment. Apparently, after completing their marriage registration, the couple were on the way to the courthouse when the bride stumbled over her gown, causing her to fall. https://www.news9live.com/viral-news/shortest-marriage-3-minutes-kuwait-couple-divorce-2292649
Unfortunately, instead of extending a helping hand, the groom stood there, laughing and even called her stupid. Infuriated by his reaction, the bride immediately filed for an annulment, making the marriage the shortest-lived union, lasting only 3 minutes. https://www.news9live.com/viral-news/shortest-marriage-3-minutes-kuwait-couple-divorce-2292649
While some may view the bride’s reaction as an overreaction, but from her perspective, it means more than just a slight stumble. For the bride, the groom’s behaviour would likely have caused ongoing emotional distress throughout their marriage. https://www.news9live.com/viral-news/shortest-marriage-3-minutes-kuwait-couple-divorce-2292649
Hence, she recognised the necessity for an annulment to prevent further hardships in their future together.
Various philosophers throughout history have shared their thoughts on marriage and family. Socrates said, “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” Many of my friends whose marriage collapsed, more often than philosophised about their fate.
On the other hand, Aristotle once said, “Marriage is the foundation of a household, and the family is the basic unit of society.” That’s true. Where would we be without our family?
However, In the realm of family and relationships, Simone de Beauvoir’s words resonate: “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.” This reflects the idea that individuals within a marriage must evolve and adapt, but mutual respect and support are crucial during these transformations.
This short-lived marriage case that we cited, although an extreme one, highlights the importance of understanding and respecting one another within this foundational unit.
As for practical advice for young couples about to enter matrimony, it’s vital to remember that marriage is a partnership built on mutual understanding, empathy, and compromise.
Communication is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. Additionally, acknowledging each other’s flaws and working together to overcome challenges is essential.
A sense of humour and the ability to forgive can also go a long way in maintaining a healthy and lasting relationship.
Ultimately, it’s essential to prioritise respect and kindness towards your partner, especially during difficult moments, to avoid the fate of this short-lived marriage.
On the other hand, the more cynical amongst us think marriage, the grand institution that society insists is the key to eternal bliss is more like a lifelong subscription to a never-ending drama series.
However, if you’re still foolishly determined to make it work, here are a few steps to ensure that your marriage lasts longer than the latest fad diet.
Most of these are drawn from my experience as a Life Coach counselling young couples about to get married or help them mend their turbulent relationships.
• Find a Partner Who Can Tolerate Your Quirks: you’re not perfect, and neither is your partner. Look for someone who can handle your messiness, your bad jokes, and your inexplicable obsession with collecting vintage action figures or absurd artifacts that your partner could care less.
* Open Communication: Make sure you talk to each other regularly, but be prepared for heated arguments over trivial things like toothpaste cap placement or dirty socks in the hallway. It’s a test of your love endurance. Sometimes, it’s the small things that become a source of unnecessary conflicts.
• Embrace Compromise: Get used to the idea that you won’t always get your way. Sometimes you’ll have to watch that a sitcom you despise or eat at a restaurant that gives you indigestion rather than satisfaction.
• Maintain Independence: Avoid becoming joined at the hip. It’s essential to have your own interests, hobbies and a circle of friends outside the marriage that will give you time off from each other briefly during the week.
• Remember the Romance: As the years pass, the initial spark may fade, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep the romance alive. Surprise your partner with little acts of love, like taking out the trash without being asked. Or doing anything out of the ordinary that contributes to a happy life together.
• Seek Professional Help: Marriage counseling isn’t just for the hopeless cases. Sometimes, a neutral third party can help you navigate the stormy seas of matrimony.
• Laugh Together: Marriage can be a comedy of errors. Find humour in the chaos, and laugh at your shared misadventures. Don’t forget to laugh at each other’s faults too. Avoid being judgemental at all cost.
In the end, marriage might be an absurd, lifelong commitment, but if you follow these steps, you might just make it to the final episode without cancelling the show prematurely.
Give it a try. My wife and I have been married for four decades, almost. We live by the same principles. They seem to work for us. Why not for you?
Dr Rahim Said who goes by a pseudonym of Mihar Dias, an anadrome of his given name, is a human behaviourist and a regular contributor on digital media platforms. He is a professional management consultant, a corporate trainer and an executive coach specialising in coaching of senior executives and individual entrepreneurs with the purpose of modifying their behaviour in the pursuit of their cherished missions.