By Sam Trailerman
My blood pressure shot up so high after that match, I thought I’d need to check if my wallet was still in my pocket — you never know, these fellows will rob you blind in broad daylight.
Let’s not kid ourselves. Switzerland didn’t just play football; they gave a master class in sheer stubborn grit. A 1‑1 draw against Argentina, stride for stride, tackle for tackle — proper David versus Goliath stuff.
But of course, in this film script, Goliath never actually loses. That won’t sell the expensive jerseys or keep the champagne flowing in the VIP boxes, yes?
Then, like some magician pulling a rabbit out of his hat, the referee whips out a red card. Wah! Suddenly, the Swiss are down to 10 men. For what? To protect the system, beta.
Egypt saw the same drama, now Switzerland too. Heroic underdogs become sacrificial bakras. You can almost hear the walkie‑talkies in the stadium: “Code Red! Narrative collapsing! Deploy the whistle!”
And tell me honestly — was this all to shield FIFA’s darling, Lionel Messi? Social media is full of trolls shouting the same thing. Heaven forbid the “GOAT” actually earns a win against a disciplined defence without the pitch being tilted 45 degrees in his favour.
So, what happens? The Swiss wall crumbles in extra time, Argentina strolls off with a “polluted” 3‑1 victory, and commentators will now sing bhajans about Argentina’s “tactical genius.” Arrey baba, give me a break.
Now, from the point of view of an ordinary fan — someone who saves hard‑earned money just to buy a streaming subscription — is there any integrity left?
Or are we watching a scripted reality show, ending decided in a boardroom before the players even lace their boots?
Switzerland was robbed, plain and simple. Not a defeat, but a corporate restructuring of a football match.
If FIFA wants to protect their “royalty’ so openly, why not just hand Messi the trophy at the opening ceremony and let us all sleep early?
So yes, millions of us are lighting candles. Not for world peace, not for lottery numbers these few nights. But for England’s Saka to suddenly channel into a 2002 World Cup Ronaldo mode. For Kane to remember he’s allergic to missing penalties on Thursdays. For Pickford to do his starfish dance and save shots with his elbows.
If England thrash Argentina this Thursday, I’ll be insufferable. I’ll wear the flag like a cape all the way to the nearest 7‑Eleven. I’ll tell my kids I was there. I’ll even forgive Southgate for that one silly substitution he made in 2021.
What if England do not deliver this time (again)? Well, well…we’ll come back in four years.
But just for once, football gods, can you let us have that trophy this year?
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