by Sam Trailerman
I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Like how many of us have this feeling that we seem to be the only leading character in our life history?
Those moments of joy, nerve-wrecking struggles, and sweet accomplishments of what were once considered wild dreams.
It’s only natural to feel this way when we’re caught up in our own episode, season after season. Nothing plastic or fake about it.
No matter how small a success is accomplished, I always felt that the challenges before the accomplishment were much more important because they were central to my life, my strategies, and consequently affected the people around me.
I have this bad attitude of replaying in my head every now and then of the conversations I had with the people within my circle. This often results in unnecessary worrying in my skull.
I ponder whether I have used unwise words when making big decisions or celebrating my successes during the biggest moments of my own continuing story.
I also don’t forget that although I might be the main character in my own story, there could be a chance I could be no more than an ordinary sidekick persona in someone else’s story.
I do admit this kind of awareness in me can either be damaging or give me contentment when I look at the brighter side. To be able to digest all these ponderings is also like swallowing a bitter pill, especially when you think about what others may think of you.
Occasionally some of the “cast members” would worry excessively about how my life’s choices had been, whether it was about my career, my personal life, or even simple daily decisions.
The trick to dismissing all these taxing thoughts would be to stamp them out. But it’s easier said than done because before you stamp them out, they have already crept into your head in the first place!
Sometimes I feel good when no one is watching my every move. What a relief, then!
Each individual who crosses my path has their own unique story, along with their own emotions and experiences. Humans are deeply involved in continuous dramas and dreams.
If there is an existence of another character in my life, then it’s going to add to more drama. That’s how I feel.
I am presently very much comfortable in my skin, no need to be concerned about what others might say or think about me. (Oops! Have I veered from where I first started?)
Anyway, this doesn’t mean that I skip valuing or appreciating people or occurrences. I accept the fact that at times, the people around me could be disoriented in their world.
You know what? Sometimes people fail to realise the momentousness of not being the centre of everyone’s attention could also induce relief and reveal a truly valuable persona.
Truth be told: letting go of the need for constant approval from other entangled characters in my life’s dramas has reduced my stress levels. This has allowed me to focus more on what genuinely makes me happy.
Today I am kinder to myself. I do this by not being the main character in other people’s story. When we realise that there are less who cares about us as much as we care about ourselves, we can let go of unnecessary concerns or burdens.
We can then prioritise being true to ourselves and find our sources of pleasure. In the end, understanding that we’re not the main character in everyone else’s story helps us find more peace and joy in our own lives.
This reminds us of the importance of one’s role in their own story, just as others are in their own. Accepting this lets us live more fully and appreciate our own journey. This insight has given me a deep sense of calm, letting me focus on what truly matters and cherish the unique experiences that everyone brings.
If you have the urge to be one in someone else’s story, then you’ve got to act and be that character in real life, too. Not every living soul could feel the same way as you do. So be aware of that and just be the main character in your life.
No one likes to live in murky waters, be easily controlled by others and be branded as subordinates or “mai chais” (a slang term in Cantonese) in other people’s stories. Imagine yourself as not being the main character in their stories. That’s rather uplifting if I may say so. Enough said.
You can always be somebody in everyone’s life, but nobody can be someone in your own life. I hope I’ve made some sense in my ramblings today because I haven’t taken a whiff of those super aromatic leaves before I tackled my keyboard a little while ago!
WE