Losing sleep as I fight with my pillow…

by Sam Trailerman

For senior citizens, having enough sleep is essential for leading healthy lives. Yes, I’m a senior now and I’ve been told that countless number of times. Yet, insomnia seems to seep in.

It’s a common challenge for many old folks around the world – insomnia. Could it be stress, an agitated mind, or just one of those nights, where the pillow feels like a rock or the blanket opts for a tug-of-war with you?

You end up with a bed full of frustration. This could be a sleep state misperception or paradoxical insomnia. In layman’s terms, a sleep disorder that causes people to feel awake even while they are asleep.

The exact cause of paradoxical insomnia isn’t fully understood, but it may be linked to changes in brain activity or psychological factors. People with this condition may feel constantly aware of their surroundings during the night, experience racing thoughts, or believe they were awake most of the time.

Despite these perceptions, their body often gets adequate rest, which can make the condition particularly frustrating

For some, it’s seen as a temporary setback. Trust me, once this temporary hitch comes knocking on your door, it’s meant to stay for a very, very long time.

Biological science explains that as we age, sleep becomes more challenging due to a combination of biological, lifestyle, and health-related factors. Conclusively, the architecture of sleep duration is reduced with frequent night-time awakenings.

The greater the mind is ruffled, the more restless the pillow gets. At times, it gets so cruel that when you’re lying in bed desperately needing sleep, that’s when your brain decides to work overtime. Like what will it be for breakfast, bread with peanut butter and strawberry jam or blueberry!

Plunging into a minimum of six hours of sleep is an investment for the energy one needs to be competent the following day. If you can’t sleep, stop worrying by frequently asking, “even the moon gets to rest, why can’t I?”

Just get up and do something instead of lying and worrying in the dark for it’s the worrying that gets you, not the lack of sleep.

I try not to chase sleep like it owes me money. Instead, I try to calculate the potential lucky numbers for next jackpot draw. A cup of creamed coffee and some screen time on the PC is way better than a night full of dreams but no sleep, just like reading a book full of words that carries no meaning at all.

Very often at 3 am, I close my eyes to sleep, but my brain has other thoughts, such as finding a solution to eliminate world hunger! There’s more as the night wears on, quite frequently it whispers secrets only the sleepless can hear.

No doubt my bed and I are perfect for each other, but sleepless nights tend to generate free tickets to over-thinking marathons. When this happens, I just get up from the bed, feeling sorry for leaving it, amidst of its cries of “I want you back”!

On second thoughts, could it be that I am bit allergic to my bed?

My tuition class students brand me as a night owl, seeing me online in FB, Instagram and WhatsApp in the wee hours of the morning. The truth is I’m more like an over-thinking raven.  That’s the main reason why I can’t sleep at night, neither do I nap like a pro during the day.

Sleeping nowadays seems to be like the unicorn (an animal rumoured to have existed a long time ago), but I doubt I will see it tonight. If sleep were a person, I am on the very edge of ghosting it.

Falling asleep for me nowadays is likened more to climbing up an insomnia mountain. Sleeping at night is hard when the whole day is taken up with procrastination. It could be that I might have a condition called pillow resistance.

A few times I did try counting sheep, unfortunately the sheep have been unionised, they don’t allow me to count them in now.

What if one were to count all the embarrassing things ever done? Not a good idea either as just the thoughts will add more sheep to be in the union, thus refraining them from jumping over the pen.

If it’s indeed insomnia, it’s sure got a way saying naturally ‘Welcome to the declining years”. Three in the morning and out of nowhere there is the strongest urge to learn more about the ancient Mesopotamia civilisation.

Who needs sleep when you can watch your fan spin for hours? I don’t even need an alarm clock as my ideas wake me up.

All these changes have contributed to or connected with my aging. Back then when I was younger and slimmer, happiness meant getting enough sleep.

But now it’s a different story altogether. Zzzzzzzzzzz…

WE