By Zakiah Senin
In life, it’s undeniable — we feel more at ease, more joyful, when we sit and talk, share activities, or journey far with someone whose presence feels naturally compatible.
That compatibility rests on understanding. And that understanding, in turn, allows us to transform heavy conflicts into lighter ones, tangled knots into threads that can be gently smoothed out. Isn’t it comforting when there is common ground?
Yet, as time passes, we inevitably encounter individuals whose attitudes, interests, tendencies, and perspectives differ from ours. The result can be complicated, suffocating, unsettling, even painful.
The easy way out? Avoid them. Ignore them. Steer clear. Run away. Safe! Isn’t that so?
But wait — don’t we grow weary of always running away? Of endlessly avoiding? Without ever daring to challenge the habit?
Imagine if the world created by God were painted in only one colour. Blue skies, blue seas, blue earth, blue plants, blue people, blue animals — everything, everywhere, only blue. Imagine that.
Would it be captivating? Surely not. The world becomes beautiful when its landscapes play with many colours. Calm in the blues, cool in the greens, fiery in the reds, cheerful in the yellows — and countless other shades, spilling, blending, and dazzling.
So here’s a thought: let us turn differences into something familiar.
• First, train ourselves to stop judging and start understanding. Each time we face a different attitude or viewpoint, and feel the urge to ask, “Why is he like that?” — replace it with, “What has made him become like that?”
This small shift in questioning nurtures empathy and softens our emotional reactions.
• Second, learn to distinguish between disagreement and disrespect. Remember, not every difference needs our agreement, but every human being deserves respect. Accepting differences does not mean surrendering our principles; it means preserving courtesy even when opinions diverge. This is where the maturity of the soul begins.
• Third, see differences as opportunities to learn, not threats to fear. This opens the door to a wider view of the world. With the intention to learn, not to win, we become calmer, more open, and less easily offended. Over time, differences no longer suffocate us — they enrich our spirit, deepen our feelings, steady our judgment, and eventually blossom into wisdom. Isn’t that beautiful?
Canadian software and transportation consultant Todd Ruthman once said: “It’s the things in common that make relationships enjoyable, but it’s the little differences that make them interesting.”
(My reflections on volunteerism — a principle close to my heart — are also contained in my book Suka Rela Sukar Lawan, published by Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka in 2024. For inquiries, please contact zakiahsenin@gmail.com)
Zakiah Senin is a volunteer with Yayasan SALAM Malaysia, an NGO dedicated to volunteerism in Malaysia for the past 30 years.