By Dr Rahim Said
In a twist no scriptwriter in Hollywood would dare sneak past a producer, Donald J. Trump has now declared Malaysia — yes, our Malaysia, land of Myvi supremacy and parking nightmares — the global beacon of compact-car brilliance.
According to Trump, we are basically the spiritual homeland of “very small, really cute” cars, the kind America has not allowed its people to build because of rules. Until now.
It’s not every day the 45th and 47th President of the United States looks across the Pacific and concludes that the future of American automotive greatness lies in the humble Perodua Myvi. Somewhere in Rawang, an engineer just felt a disturbance in the force.
Trump’s epiphany, delivered from the Oval Office with all the gravitas of a man explaining how microwaves cause hurricanes, goes something like this:
Japan, South Korea, and — wait for it — Malaysia have tiny cars. They are cute. Americans would love them.
But America is apparently being strangled by regulations written by people who prefer their cars the size of small bungalows.
So, naturally, Trump has authorised his Transportation Secretary, Sean Patrick Duffy, to immediately strike down these restrictions.
Because if there’s anything that defines U.S. policymaking today, it’s presidential impulse purchases inspired by ASEAN Summit drive-by observations.
This would all be hilarious if it weren’t also—well, still hilarious.
Malaysia, Automotive Superpower (Trump Version)
You have to admire it. Malaysia has spent decades trying to prove itself globally:
— advanced semiconductors,
— palm oil innovations,
— world-class airports (well… usually),
— highly skilled labour,
— world-famous durian diplomacy.
But suddenly, it turns out all we really needed for superpower status was probably a traffic jam on Jalan Ampang and a Myvi that may have cut off Trump’s motorcade.
Now we’re the reference model for the US automotive pivot. Let that sink in: America is learning from us.
The same America that thinks “international cuisine” is putting salsa on a cheeseburger.
The ‘Cute Car’ Doctrine
Trump’s fascination with small cars is, of course, rooted in his trademark policy approach: see something overseas, declare it superior, claim Americans are being deprived of it, then issue decrees. We’ve seen this before — remember his love letters to Kim Jong-un? At least this time, nobody is testing ballistic missiles.
But his calling them “cute” might be the real diplomatic breakthrough. For decades, Malaysians have defended our compact cars not just as efficient, but as national icons.
Now, the Myvi has achieved its highest honour:
It is officially “cute” to the President of the United States.
We should put that on the next billboard:
“Perodua Myvi: Approved by Trump. Tremendous. Cute.”
An ASEAN Summit, a Traffic Jam, and Now a New U.S. Industry
According to the script, Trump had this revelation after visiting Kuala Lumpur for the ASEAN Summit. One imagines him looking out the motorcade window at our roads:
“Sean, why are these cars so small? Why is everything here so small? Except the buildings. And the portion of char kuey teow I had yesterday. Wonderful, wonderful country.”
The fact that this automotive revolution is being inspired by a visit to Bukit Jalil rather than Detroit is rich enough to bottle and sell.
And of course, Trump brings up China immediately after — because no Trump speech is complete without reminding everyone he once locked eyes with Xi Jinping and lived to tell the tale.
America’s New Malaysia Strategy
So here we are. Malaysia:
— mentor to America’s compact-car future,
— ASEAN host with influence,
— surprise protagonist in Trump’s energy-efficiency narrative.
Will the US start producing its own Myvi? Will Detroit rename itself Detroit Baru? Will Fox News run a special titled “Are Malaysians Taking Over American Cars?”
Time will tell.
For now, we should enjoy this rare moment when Malaysia is not being used as a geopolitical pawn, economic cautionary tale, or palm-oil punching bag — but as an example worth copying.
Trump may forget most things, but he won’t forget Malaysia’s compact cars.
And if that’s the legacy we’re stuck with, well… at least it’s kind of cute.
The views expressed here are entirely those of the author
WE