By S. Jayasankaran
Erica Jong is an American novelist whose 1974 bestseller, Fear of Flying vividly captured the challenges faced by a Jewish poet living alone in New York City during the 1970s.
Mirelle E is less well-known. Even so, her book detailing the challenges faced by an aspiring French chef struggling with a morbid fear of hot oil won plaudits. Fear of Frying went on to become a literary smash.
Literary, yes. Culinary, not so much: an irrational fear of hot oil can thwart the best intentions for boeuf bourguignon.
Most people have some minor phobias. The most common is social phobia or a fear of social interaction.
Other common fears are those associated with snakes, heights, spiders and public speaking.
I found out I had a phobia of using bridges over busy highways. I have no problem with bridges over water, but for some inexplicable reason, the thought of having traffic moving under my feet gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Solution: I avoid them like the plague and cross the street at the traffic lights instead.
In China, this can be a challenge as an intersection can have as many as 10 lanes. Walking mighty fast is the prescribed way to go.
But some fears are really way out there, as weird as Al Yankovich.
There is Anatidaephobia, which is an irrational fear of being watched by a duck.
Say you are an inordinate fancier of duck, preferably roasted in Beijing. And then say you were walking in New York’s Central Park and become aware you are the subject of an intense, malevolent scrutiny: it usually comes from the duck pond.
This is when strong men afflicted with Anatidaephobia head for the hills.
There is a particular phobia that’s only associated with officials in Singapore. It’s called chidephobia and is characterised by an irrational, obsessive, and deeply suspicious fear of chewing gum. The mere sight of someone chewing gum or its Just-Being-There can trigger consequences like a blanket ban.
Then there’s Cenosillicaphobia, which is a fear of an empty beer glass. This is an honest-to-goodness anxiety, a vox-populi fear if you like, especially if said “people” are patrons of a nearby pub.
An absolutely ridiculous fear is aibohphobia, which is a fear of palindromes. A palindrome is, of course, a word or phrase that reads the same forward or backwards. Examples would be “racecar”; “Dammit, I’m mad” or “Able was I ere I saw Elba.”
Ironically, “aibohphobia” is also a palindrome. This revelation is generally sufficient to send said sufferer screaming into the night.
Arachibutyrophobia has those afflicted fearful of having peanut butter stuck to the roof of their mouths. They should be given a public flogging and banned from eating the stuff.
I’m convinced my wife has some sort of nomophobia, which is a fear of being without a mobile phone. People with pogonophobia should never, ever travel to Afghanistan. The condition describes a fear of beards.
What about the fears of the Trumpinator? The word comes from a blend of “Trump” (Donald Trump) and “Terminator” (the famous cyborg from the Arnold Schwarzenegger movies). It suggests toughness, relentlessness, or a larger-than-life persona — echoing the unstoppable image of the Terminator.
I’m still thinking… but then I’m also affected by this overthinkophobia that my brains have!
The views expressed here are entirely those of the author.
WE