By Dr Rahim Said
Somewhere in the heart of Kuala Lumpur, someone in a sleek office must have thought they’d struck marketing gold. “Let’s make it catchy,” they said. “Something young, something cool, something global. Like… ‘I LITE U.’”
Thus, a slogan was born — one that sounds like a rejected SMS from 2004.
Apparently, this is our latest attempt to “brand” Kuala Lumpur — the city of lights, supposedly — by turning it into an expression of affection that neither makes grammatical sense nor emotional resonance.
“I LITE U” is supposed to be short for “I light you up,” or maybe “I love you,” or perhaps “I’ve lost all sense of linguistic proportion.”
Whatever it is, the slogan feels less like a declaration of passion and more like a typo that escaped proofreading.
Tourism slogans are meant to capture a city’s soul. Paris has “Je T’aime Paris.” New York has “I ❤️ NY.” Even Bangkok boldly proclaims, “Amazing Thailand.”
But here? We have “I LITE U” — a phrase that sounds like what your LED keychain says when it runs out of battery.
If Kuala Lumpur truly wants to be known as the “city of lights,” there are better ways to do it.
After all, we already have plenty of lights — from the neon glow of Jalan Bukit Bintang to the festive LED waterfall of Pavilion’s Christmas display that starts in November and ends sometime after the New Year.
But instead of celebrating that vibrant chaos, we decided to spell “light” as “lite” — like a sugar-free soda.
So now, instead of full-bodied illumination, we’re offering tourists a diet version of love: “I Lite U — now with 30% fewer calories!”
Maybe it’s meant to appeal to the TikTok generation, where vowels are optional and everything must fit into a hashtag. But if the goal was to sound youthful and edgy, it might have worked better as “I L8 U” — at least that way, people would know we’re fashionably late, not just linguistically confused.
Of course, we Malaysians have a soft spot for slogans that make the rest of the world blink twice.
Remember “Endless Celebrations” — which felt endless mainly because the road closures never stopped?
Or “Truly Asia,” which was true until half our flights were delayed?
“I LITE U” joins that illustrious list of feel-good phrases that mean absolutely nothing and cost taxpayers absolutely something.
So, what exactly are we lighting, anyway? Tourists’ wallets? The skyline already overloaded with LED billboards? Or the endless rows of durian stalls glowing at midnight in Jalan Alor, drawing brave souls and unsuspecting foreigners alike?
If we’re honest, Kuala Lumpur doesn’t need another slogan. What it needs is working infrastructure, fewer flash floods, and LRT stations that don’t leak. Light up those problems first, and then maybe — just maybe — “I LITE U” will make sense.
Until then, dear KL, you don’t need to “lite” us. You just need to fix the streetlights that never seem to work.
Because as things stand, “I LITE U” sounds less like a love letter — and more like a warning from TNB.
Kuala Lumpur: Where even our love comes in LED.
WE